Last day...

This is how I feel today...


I'm so glad the weather decided to play along. (If you look close, you can see that it is raining). Normally, I am one who loves the rain. In fact, the thunder storms (granted that I am inside or at least warm and dry) are one the of things I miss most about living in Houston. But today, it just served as a way to encapsulate how I am feeling.

This is my last day of vacation before I go back to work tomorrow. I like my job, so usually I don't suffer from the Sunday Night Blues. But, today marks the end of another holiday season, another year and the beginning of the normal day once again. Something, that can make me a little sad.

I also turn 3-1 this month. It's not until the end of the month, but I feel it looming. I feel ok about where I am. But, there are tons more things to occupy the back of my mind now. Not to mention the old Tick, Tock. Another topic that I can't seem to come down firmly on one side or the other.

Along this same line, I need to make a significant decision about my future careerwise. One day I feel that I have it under control, then the next I am back to feeling completely undecided. Usually, when I approach big decisions, I have a natural pull one way or the other. This time, I'm just numb.

Finally, as a small reward for feeling so heavy all day, I just wanted an egg nog latte. Just a small egg nog latte, with half the syrup, and decaf beans because I never got around to having one. The first Starbucks was out of egg nog as of this morning - even though their stinkin' sign was still up. So, since there is always another Starbucks across the street, I thought I'd try another. The second one (again with the signs) was also out of egg nog. But the worst is it took me a couple minutes to get it out of her:

Dis: "Do you have egg nog?"
Star: Blank stare
Dis: "Do you have egg nog?" Hopefull eyes
Star: "Do I have egg nog?"
Dis: No, I was wondering if the super market across the street had any egg nog? "Yes."
Star: "No. We are all out for this season."
Dis: "Ok, thanks anyway." Shooting sting in eyes. Turn around and walk out fast because...

Yup, I actually cried over a freakin latte. I mean, is it so hard to get just a little something that would have made me feel just slightly better? I know that it was just the catalyst for the rest of the day, but man, why? WHY?

So, B took the weeping, sniffling, feeling-sorry-for-herself, me home. I got into my Sock Monkey pjs, brought the heater, a blankie, my book and the pooper into the bedroom and took a nap.

I feel better and I am going to concentrate on having a nice evening. I finally started my Baby Bobbi Bear and I plan on working on it most of tonight. Besides, how can you be sad when you are making a little teddy bear for a new baby? Especially as you start to see the bear take shape. I thought I was going to die last night when I made the little bum. So cute!! And clever knitting-wise, too. I had to actually act out the knitting instructions to understand what they wanted me to do. But once I got it, it was a lot of fun.

So, thank you for letting me vent and I know that I have a lot to be thankful for and that I am very rich in so many ways. But sometimes, you just need a little time to wallow. To make up for it through, I promise to make at least one more Mother Bear to send to the Mother Bear Project (button at the left), once I get my pattern. Take care everyone.